Self Care Is Not Selfish
Embodied maintenance is good stewardship
My body hurts.
It’s not BIG pain like some of my friends live with. But I hold tension in my neck and in my shoulders and in my upper back. The muscles under the skin can become tight knots that remind me I am not okay, and if I ignore their message they get more persistent, yelling at me to slow down and take care of myself. Self care.
Self care is important. In my psychotherapy notes I have a box to tick if my client and I discuss self care in our session. Self care has gotten a bad rap, mocked as indulgent bubble baths and manicures. Endless work is considered “selflessness” which is next to godliness, but rest is called selfish and admitting limitations is failure. If you’re a legalist, that is.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
I don’t think he was talking about a nap. He probably wasn’t talking about bubble baths or manicures either. But he was talking about our weary bodies and promising rest from the burdens we carry. And naps and bubble baths and manicures may sometimes be legitimate ways to rest. And massages.
My muscles flared up over the weekend, with shooting pains in my shoulder and numbness and weakness going down my arm. I have been getting medical massages at least once a month for several years, and today was that day. It helped. Tonight I will sleep 8 hours after chugging down some magnesium and supplements and brushing my teeth. Tomorrow I will write my morning pages then exercise, either a 3-mile walk or working out in the garage gym if my shoulder is feeling better. Then I will eat breakfast with lots of protein. Maintenance.
I’m reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. She speaks of the value God places on our frail bodies, reminding us that all the maintenance required to keep these bodies functioning–washing, feeding, hydrating, exercising, brushing teeth, sleeping–is sacred labor because of the gift of embodiment. Jesus had a body. Our bodies matter.
Self care is not selfish. It is a necessary duty and an act of worship when we remember the gift we are given and the responsibility to steward well this “one wild and precious life” (Mary Oliver). Take good care of yourself, in whatever way you are able.
Your body matters. You matter.